Like what I've posted in my facebook status " Sometimes things really dont go the way you expected or the way we might like them to. But things that doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Stay Strong!"
I've come to a point where i breakdown and cry for getting such bullshit results, got "kicked" out from the place where I'm staying now, not accepted by the place I wanted to shift to, and end up in a place where " I have no idea how is it going to be like". Back in Malaysia, when there's something that turns my mood upside down , you will definitely see me cleaning and washing things during the middle of the night.This is why my Macbook got water damage after the day I broke down but now when I'm in Indonesia, I clean things in the afternoon to keep my mind clear and to calm myself down. There's many reasons behind why i need to feel upset about all these little stuffs in my life. I just couldn't understand. I've tried my best to score high in my exam, by studying all day and all night, to actually make my parents proud, but i ended up disappointing them (they didn't mind, but i mind) . I just can't make it. Besides, it's so unfair to me when it's not my fault and i have to leave this place ( I've actually planned to leave anyway but this just makes me feel like i really did something wrong). It's unfair for a girl who is always so friendly to their housemates, who always keep the kitchen clean, doesn't annoy other housemates, and a girl who doesn't dirty any of the common area. Although in the end they told me that I'll still have a chance to stay here, I feel that I am a person that is not appreciated. If they were to discuss, they must come out with the most relevant and permanent decision followed by the best reason you can give. Please don't give me an excuse that i cannot stay here then after a few minutes, you say that i can continue staying here, this is definitely not the best solution to solve problems. If I were you, I will definitely CONFIRM with my decisions first before telling you about it. I am not a toy. Moreover, I don't understand why my friend gets into the hostel I wanted while i can't when there's actually an empty room for me? Face problem? WHY WHY WHY? once again i feel so unaccepted by the society here. It's okay, I will remain the story hidden.